Are You Spiritual?
If you are, you may be tempted to think therapy and spirituality are at odds. After all, many of us have heard of therapy nightmares where the prescribed treatment is “have more faith.”
Yet, we simply cannot trace all mental health struggles back to incorrect belief, suggesting that therapy will help us “believe better” and therefore make us “feel better”.
Consider a traumatic event on the news this week and the PTSD/anxiety/depression the person is now feeling, perhaps it is seeing a family living in a war-torn country. Faith may play a role in their recovery, but a lack of faith is not the cause of their symptoms. The presence of faith does not negate the need for therapeutic techniques.
This does not mean we must remove our faith from therapy. Perhaps there is an incorrect belief about God or themselves, resulting from trauma that impacts your spiritual life. In this case, identifying and challenging these beliefs would certainly have an impact on your spiritual walk.
Life throws some things our way that will be greatly helped by your relationship with God and the care of your community, but some of these things also require the additional specialty of a trained therapist.
Please fight the urge to view your need for therapy as a weakness or as a detour in your spiritual walk. Rather, view it as yet another step towards health and maturity. View it as a tool in your arsenal as you fight for an even stronger love for God.
Are you spiritual? Perhaps therapy is a part of your spiritual journey.
Consider asking your therapist how you can incorporate your faith tradition into your sessions.
Dear Pastor
Dear Pastor,
The way you care for your sheep inspires me and encourages me to do the same for my clients. The way you weekly listen to, encourage, affirm, and at times, challenge… The way you are open and honest, seemingly always on the clock and allow your life and heart to be interwoven with those you lead and serve… from the bottom of my heart, thank you.
I know you don’t know me, but I have a request: Will you trust me with your sheep? Will you allow me to add to, not take away, from the hours and hours you have spent investing in this person’s life? I will not plant new ideas in their minds, or make them question their faith. My goal is to help them strengthen their faith and to live out their values in life. I will not take them away from your care. In fact, I think the best place for them to remain is in relationship with you and I will encourage them to share aspects of our discussion with their community.
Of course, I cannot share any information with you without my client’s permission, including their names. Yet, what I can share is my own heart/thoughts/techniques so that you can rest easy, knowing that your loved ones are in good hands. My goal is that we would be partners in the same goal of helping see the people for whom we care deeply, thrive and grow.
I look forward to meeting you. If we ever get together, coffee on me!
Super Seven: Things That Make Everyone Feel Better
By Raeanne Johnson, CPNP-PC, PMHS
Hello friends! As a Pediatric Nurse Practitioner, Pediatric Mental Health Specialist, and busy mama to three amazing kiddos, I’ve found seven lifestyle modifications that make a big impact on our mood and mental health. In our visits, I often refer to these as “seven things that make everyone feel better”, and the good news is they are all free and accessible.
1-Sleep
We know sleep is important, so we discuss a quality sleep routine, consistent bedtime, and strategies for prioritizing rest.
2-Screens
Screen time is a divisive topic, and there is no singular correct answer for how much is “too much”, but we will talk about patterns we see and the correlation between screen time and mood. Does social media scrolling increase your teens anxiety? Are most of the anger outbursts surrounding the removal of electronics or losing in gaming?
3-Sunshine
I own a shirt that reads “Less screen time, More green time” and summarizes my philosophy on the two. We know that morning sun can naturally increase our serotonin production and general sun exposure increases our vitamin D which aids in mood health.
4-Sweat
Find a type of movement that you love, and do it often to boost those endorphins!
5-Sugar
Sugar has been linked to anxiety and depression so we need to exercise discretion on setting limits and enjoying in moderation.
6-Scripture (or faith-grounding practice)
This is probably my favorite tool, because we can take our anxieties to the Prince of Peace-Jesus! (Isaiah 9:6) I love to read the Bible, but this tool can be applied to any faith or spirituality background. It’s helpful to have a mantra or verse to meditate on to help ground us when the cares of our hearts are many. Breathwork is also a beautiful free tool that can be utilized to help keep us calm and steady.
7-Stressors
This last one looks different for every family, but if we look through and see that the negative emotions that surround a certain activity outweigh the positives of enjoying it then we begin the discussion of how to eliminate or modify those activities.
As a bonus, I also love to recommend an eighth “S” for Supplements and I’ll be writing up a post with my favorites to share with you.
Thank you for reading! I hope you find this helpful and I look forward to serving you and your families as the newest member of the Psychiatric Medication Management team at Raleigh Psychology.
-Raeanne
Clouds in the Sky, You Know How I Feel
Our emotions can be likened to clouds passing over our heads in the sky. They come in different shapes, sizes, and shades, some staying for hours, others for days. Yet in their differences, none are inherently bad. They simply exist.
Clouds can remind us of something important - we are not fused to our emotions. We may enjoy the results of some clouds more than others, but the clouds needn’t stop us from pursuing our values and goals in life.
Perhaps we alter our schedule or prepare for coming or going clouds, but they do not define our lives or who we are.
Yes, it is wise to recognize clouds and adjust accordingly. With dark clouds pouring out rain, we pull out an umbrella or perhaps grab lunch (inside) with a friend. On a sunny day with big fluffy clouds, we enjoy the sun and allow the rays to warm our bodies and hearts.
Emotions, as with clouds, are not inherently bad. They simply exist. They come in all shapes, sizes, and shades, some staying for hours, others days, others months, but none of them define who we are. We prefer some more than others, and all impact our lives, but they are not to be feared. They are to be recognized and even embraced for how they point out (or sometimes shout out) what we truly value in life.
These emotions you are feeling, they may feel permanent, but just know, friend, they will not last forever. Just ask the clouds.
From Parent to Emotional Coach: Helping Your Child Develop Emotional Intelligence
When children face “big emotions” for the first time it can be extremely difficult for them to understand how to process those feelings and, in turn, how to react and work through them in healthy ways. Many parents want to love and support their children’s mental and emotional health but find themselves at a loss when these big emotions strike. In these circumstances, it can be helpful to see yourself as an emotional coach alongside the role of parent. An emotional coach can teach their children how to face and work through big emotions while also disciplining them if these big emotions cause harmful behavior. For example, a child facing high levels of anxiety may lash out in the form of a temper tantrum or anger toward their sibling(s) but in reality, they just don’t know how to handle the stress they feel. To your child, the anxiety could be compared to the fear we as an adult might have if we saw a shark swimming near us in the more shallow part of the ocean! Any typical adult would probably start spiraling, hoping and praying for a way out back into safety. Similarly, if a child with little emotional intelligence faces unknown emotions they may act out but deep down they are screaming to be more regulated and back to safety.
Meghan Owenz of The Gottman Institute, a well-known research-based group, discusses five important steps that can be helpful as you begin coaching your child when these big emotional moments strike.
First, parents can start to be aware of their children’s emotions. Remember, it is not a sprint, it is a marathon with your child. It will take time to learn their emotions and why they are having them. Also, each child is different in their expressions. Observing, listening, and acknowledging those feelings should be your primary focus. Familiarize yourself with your child’s emotions and understand their effect on your child. Slowly beginning to understand when your child’s emotions come into play with their unique reactions and external coping mechanisms can better help you be prepared to emotionally coach them on how to healthily process the situation.
Secondly, parents can think of these emotions as an opportunity for deeper connection and teaching moments with their children. Slowing down the moment and opening up the conversation to coach your child through the challenging feeling will breed empathy and trust, both ultimately helping to foster a deeper connection.
Thirdly, it is so important to listen and validate your child’s feelings. Again, slowing down the situation and giving your child your full attention communicates that they are important and this situation is important. It is helpful to create the space for an open conversation about what they are feeling. Hearing and validating their emotions makes them feel seen, heard, and inturn breeds empathy.
This brings us right into step number four which would be to help your child label their emotions. In nearly every office of Raleigh Psychology, we have a feelings wheel that not only helps clients (of all ages) identify their specific emotions but also displays the various feelings often not acknowledged. The feelings wheel is a valuable tool that parents can bring into moments of big emotions to help their children understand and label what they are feeling. There are so many more emotions than the primary ones- happy, sad, angry, disgusted, fearful, and surprised. Showing your child this wheel and helping them understand the vocabulary they can use to identify what emotions look and feel like not only helps them process emotions but will also helps them to help others.
Finally, the final step that can oftentimes be forgotten is to help your child problem-solve. If you are noticing maladaptive behaviors as a result of these emotions, it is important to guide your child into a conversation about healthy coping skills so your child can learn how to set goals and develop emotional expression that is appropriate and healthy,
In conclusion, the next time you notice your child struggling with big emotions, slow down the situation and move forward as an emotional coach. Don’t worry if it seems to be challenging - just like your child is learning his or her emotions, you are learning to coach them through! Remember, it is a marathon, not a sprint!